To Live by Faith

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To Live by Faith


By Fr. Dominic Rover, O.P.


To live by faith
is to live peacefully, prayerfully,
hopefully, hopelessly, outside myself.
At peace with myself
yet outside myself.
Not leaning on myself, old rubber-legs,
but leaning on God Who stands up straight
and begs us, almost, to lean on Him,
God with His daily gift
of hard rocks and white flowers.
To live by faith
is to live outside myself.
To live by faith is to be at home
and yet a stranger in my own house.
It is to be sure about God
yet unsure about everything that is not grounded in God
yet sure about everything
because everything can be grounded in God.
To live by faith
is to stop justifying myself
to stop frowning
to stop whimpering
like a cropped poodle on Pablum
To live by faith
is to stop wondering why things don’t turn out right.
To live by faith
is to stop talking –– when talk is fear or frenzy
or a giddy cover-up,
when talk is all about
setting things right, my way.
Dear God, to stop talking!
To live by faith is to be silent, to be dumb,
to be led dumb to the shearers,
to be at peace without the silk or the slime of words.
To live by faith
is to be content to be silent
so that He can speak
with the wordless words of the Word.
To live by faith
is to need to be obedient
which is to enter the world of another
as guest and quiet victim
and secret sharer.
To live by faith
is not to be sour about anything
because Jesus is sweet
and His plans for me honey to my mouth,
with bitter seeds in it, yes,
that explode each hour like Contac,
to become–– small beads of honey,
each of a different taste.
To live by faith
is to die to my own thoughts about myself,
to die to any plans
any plans
any plans
I might make for myself
(Lord Jesus, be Lord of me, and let your plans
for me come true before my dreams despoil them!)
To live by faith
is not so much to leap
as to fall,
not so much to hold fast
as to let go.
To live by faith
is a lovely awkward dive
from a 20-meter board
that always ends, blue splash and all,
in a daring clean-cut entry
into water,
an element not mine,
so cold at first,
but easier after awhile
when my warmth, poor little fish,
becomes one with the warmth of the water.
To live by faith is a gold-medal dive
that is all His doing
and yet my dive,
my fall,
my womb-like watery homecoming.

Comments

Anonymous said…
...nice!
9:44 AM
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