Ramblings from the Homestead

Daybook today... Outside my window – a cool spring morning and a beautiful sunrise I am thinking - about walking the dog in a few minutes I am thankful - for every little blessing that comes my way unexpectedly...and for my sweet husband I am wearing – jammies and warm sox I am remembering – new beginnings and how exciting they can be I am creating -reenactment dresses, a new quilt, a wool braided rug I am going – to work soon I am reading - Shelter II by Lloyd Kahn I am hoping – for peace in my life On my mind - sisters, sons, and grandchildren Pondering these words – Joy is peace dancing, peace is joy at rest From the kitchen – freshly ground and brewed coffee and later, some oatmeal Around the house – reducing and removing, letting go of the extra stuff Some of my favorite things – my cat, Fester and little dog, Peanut A few plans for the rest of the week – two more days of work... then a birthday weekend for David My picture posting: Fish River at Big Daddy's

Now just because I named my bantam rooster after my dad doesn’t mean Fred was small and cocky…. On the contrary, he was a big man, with a huge presence… I always found his big, calloused hands a bit frightening, and his gruff nature put me off. We had a fractious relationship in my teen years and beyond, but I have been assured he loved me with all his heart. I believe that now…. There were times when I didn’t. Fred was a lot like me, although I didn’t readily admit it. He was a tinkerer, a wanderer, and an inveterate scrounger. He cared not one whit about the latest fashion, and wore his grubby jeans low and baggy. His flannel shirts and striped railroad cap were a signature… pushed back on his head, a two day growth of beard stubble that he loved to rub on my cheek to hear me holler, and a pair of sturdy black leather laceup boots were his usual garb. He cleaned up nicely, and I have memories of him, clean shaven and smelling of Aqua Velva, heading out the door in the evenings. The...

My great-grandmother, Isabella Grace Pierson Jones taken when she was about 21

I can’t easily count the number of times I have moved in my life. It is probably around 30. That is a lot of uprooting and packing and unpacking. Now some of these moves happened before I was grown, and are not always accompanied by a happy memory… which is why I write about them now. When I was in my twenties, facing another move, a wise friend gave me a poster. It showed a kitten curled in a flower pot, sleeping blissfully, and proclaimed “Home is wherever your heart is”. It was a comfort to me, as I wrenched up my shallow roots yet again, and prepared to nest in another unfamiliar place. Many times the moves I made were due to financial hardship, family problems, or perhaps a desire to start anew a life that was rocking like a ship in a rough ocean. Whatever the reasons, there were sweat and toil, loss of possessions, new house issues and new landlords and locations to deal with. I always thought, thanks to my Dad, who loved to wander, that I had a bit of the gypsy in me. I stil...

After a totally frustrating day at work, it is one of the most pleasant things I can think of to come home and play in the dirt. So, I smiled while I scooped the dark, moist potting soil from a green plastic bag into the tiny green pots that are now holding rather leggy cucumber seedlings. What was I thinking? It is February!! Even on the Gulf Coast, this is too early for cukes, and they should just go right in the ground when the time IS right. But, I will tend them, nevertheless. They may be out of time with the rest of the cucumber/summer garden world, (sort of like me) but I’ll see what they can do. I won’t even angst over them if they don’t make it, and I will be happy with earlier- than-early cucumbers if I get a few. Maybe this casual but caring attitude is what I need to take with me into the world, too. Loving lightly the things that are just small stuff… whether the neighbor’s cat walks on my car each night and leaves cat prints over the roof and down the hood… whether the...

January --- a new year, a new start, a new attitude... for better or for worse, my constant companion blues are fading... I see a little more clearly... (except for weird eye issues which are physical and not the emotional and spiritual seeing I am referring to...) it has been time to let go, hold on, take a stand, back down, reverse motion, make changes, focus on the details, look at the big picture... life is such a dichotomy sometimes! I'm just walking through it... one foot, one foot, breathe in, breathe out... and have no time in my life for people who want to trip me as I go... I have learned to go around them... and to embrace the wonder-filled magic of the positive people in my life... the ones I can trust. Happy New Year!

One year ago today, my sister Nancy went home to be with the Lord. I miss her EVERY day, and I am so thankful we had the time to spend together, all too short time... I know she is still with me in my heart and always will be, and even though the tears come still when I miss her, I can find joy at the thought of her dancing with the angels. I will never forget images of her dressed in her ugg boots, tights, a tunic and a cape of some kind... a weird huge cowboy hat, and had a sword she made from something. She called it her Cancer Fighting Suit... Lord, she could make me laugh! Silly things remind me of her...orange butterflies, tunafish cans, Gypsy Vanner horses and mules of any kind.  I have memories of riding in her dark green jacked-up, airbrushed, tricked-out, redneck truck with the windows rolled down, radio blasting- Wild Thing.... and a little happy Jack Russell who howled "I love you" to her...of caramel ice cream and her popping out of my laundry room to surprise...

True friendship exists simply for its own sake. It is cemented by two who equally value friendship simply out of a desire to do so and can exist across cultures, and genders, and time, and distance. It is the easiest of the three to form; it is the most rare to find. Indeed, the greatest thing I can do for my friend is to simply be their friend. __________

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Daybook today... Outside my window – a perfect spring night... peepers I am thinking - of the time I have left in my life to make it my own... Carpe Diem I am thankful - for every little blessing that comes my way unexpectedly... today's rain on the roof made work almost a pleasure. I am wearing – black slacks, black and white print blouse with butterfly sleeves, and big fuzzy house slippers! I am remembering – to keep fighting I am creating -a huge genealogy database I am going – to sleep soon I am reading - just finished March by Geraldine Brooks I am hoping – for good camping weather the next few weekends On my mind - two sisters, two sons Pondering these words – Acceptance and surrender ( but keep fighting) From the kitchen – black beans and turkey and rice a la David Around the house – spring cleaning is needed~ One of my favorite things – my snuggly cat, Fester A few plans for the rest of the week – one more day of work... then a weekend to putter to my heart's content he...

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Tell the bison not to go where they have always been, instruct the elephants to read and yield their ancient memories of where the water is. Force wolves and bears to learn the boundaries that have never been- the ink that lies unseeable between this tree, that blade of grass. Teach them all to read the maps that are invisible. Make them know what is not real, does not exist to moon or stars, and stubborn as they are kill them for not learning what we will not share. © February 3, 2010 Carol Snyder Halberstadt

Daybook today... Outside my window – dark, cool and breezy... I am thinking - about a lot of things.... my sister and how I miss her, my sons and my husband who is off tramping through the woods for a week I am thankful - for a long conversation with an old friend I am wearing – black cords, pink sweater, pink socks I am remembering – Nancy I am creating -a baby girl gift I am going – to work today I am reading - Sand Creek Massacre by Hoig I am hoping – for mercy and healing On my mind - my sister, my sons Pondering these words – Letting go From the kitchen – peanut butter sandwiches Around the house – craft room is ALL organized, now I can enjoy it! One of my favorite things – this coffee bucket filled with hazelnut A few plans for the rest of the week – Work and relax My picture posting: Yellow Hair, Sioux -- just love this picture

Daybook today... Outside my window – dark, cool and breezy... fall-like weather after the rain last night I am thinking - about what I am thankful for... dear friends and family I am thankful - for so many things... but today for my church and my God I am wearing – black sweats, black socks, and white 3/4 sleeve pullover I am remembering – Thanksgiving a year ago... we went to a Pow Wow~~ awesome I am creating - haven't started the new creation yet... just finished the baby blanket I am going – to finish this and go to sleep I am reading - Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel I am hoping – for safe travel and lots of time with family On my mind - my sister, my sons Pondering these words – Christ, the King From the kitchen – cranberry pecan bread and chicken soup Around the house – oh we are so messy! Yarn is organized, though, so at least I know what I have.... One of my favorite things – my dog, Peanut, and my cat, Fester A few plans for the rest of the week – Work one day, then back on the...

Daybook today... Outside my window – dark, cool and breezy... fall-like weather and a full moon I am thinking - about change and feeling stuck I am thankful - for my sweet husband and for time with family when I can get it I am wearing – work clothes… black slacks, olive green shirt I am remembering – past World Series when the Yankees won I am creating - a baby blanket for a new little boy coming to the world soon I am going – to work on paperwork and organize my desk I am reading - Reading the Mountains of Home by John Elder I am hoping – for doors to open and for healing miracles On my mind - my sister, my sons Pondering these words – Be still, and know that I Am. From the kitchen – sausage and peppers Around the house – books everywhere~! One of my favorite things – this weather A few plans for the rest of the week – tomorrow is Friday, oh the weekend hallelujah!! My picture posting: Dancing with my Grandson, Mason

Nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we love, and it would be wrong to try and find anything. We must simply hold out and win through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, since leaving the gap unfilled preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap. God does not fill it, but keeps it empty so that our communion with each other may be kept alive, even at the cost of pain. Dietrich Bonhoeffer – Letters from Prison

For today - Monday, November 2, 2009 Outside my window - Sunny , cool and breezy... fall-like weather on the Gulf Coast. I am thinking - about feeling better physically, mentally and spiritually... I am thankful - for my sweet husband and for being aware of the small gifts each day I am wearing - navy sweats and sage green tee shirt (home from work) I am remembering - that my birthday is next week I am creating - a baby blanket for a new little boy coming to the world soon I am going - to the recliner to rest, maybe to the chair in the sunshine to pray and rest I am reading - Reading the Mountains of Home by John Elder I am hoping - to get some letters in the mail On my mind - my sister, my in-laws, and my sons Pondering these words - For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord; plans for good, and not for evil. From the kitchen - cracking pecans, leftover turkey chili for supper tonight. Around the house - messy~ I need to feel better so I can putter around and do what I do......

There comes a time when it is no longer important to prove one's point, but simply to live, to surrender to God and to love. ~Thomas Merton~ The Road to Joy