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Every year, as I look back over what has transpired, I have posted my reflections on the prior year… and looked forward to the new year with anticipation and hope.


This year is no different, yet it is… It was this year, 2018, that I had some major changes happen to me… interiorly, where you cannot look at me and see them… Changes of heart, changes of action… God has been working on me… and guiding me to take my steps on a different path. I have slowly, over the years, been mellowing from the feisty, quick-to-speak and quick-to-take-offense woman I have been, to one more inclined to think before I speak… (Yes, I know, the Jersey girl will always pop out when you least expect it, but hopefully along with the softening of my heart that has happened she will temper her words…)
I still love to laugh, and seem to be filled with joy to the point of almost silliness, as David and I banter and joke every day, our little cabin is filled with happiness and love. Truly, life has become more precious, as there is less of it ahead of me and more behind me.
 I try not to take things to heart, to react with my PTSD in full bloom and strike back when I feel threatened… Not to say I always succeed, but I try. I know that I am a broken, much-patched tapestry of a woman, but I try to reach out and “shine my light” on friends and family who are suffering, those who I may understand and empathize with, because I have walked a mile in their shoes, those who cross my path … I try to be present in each moment, never knowing what gift I may give or receive…
I try to forgive, as I pray others will forgive me for my careless words or actions, my thoughtless headlong rush through life.
Slowing down, taking time to pray, to write, to read, to just sit with nature and marvel at the creation around me, I have some peace in my soul. I cannot honestly think of anyone I wish ill, and my prayer for the coming year is that I can repair some broken relationships in my life.  
In 2018, we camped and traveled, visited and explored through quite a few states early in this year… we hunkered down through a miserable hot, humid summer, and welcomed fall with happiness! The Thanksgiving and Christmas season this year gave us an unexpected gift; that of interior joy and peace, something I have struggled with each Christmas season for many years. We watched our grandchildren grow and change, and attempted to pass on some wisdom and love in a written legacy for them.
What, I wonder, will the new year bring? New church, new friends, new adventures, and more time spent with friends who are family, family who are precious, revisiting old haunts…. Deeper faith, more peace, some sorrows I am sure, but once again, as in years past, I look forward to it all. Life is good up in this cabin. God bless you all in the New Year.

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