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Cracks

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Some thoughts to begin the day…. Where to begin…. I have so many things I want to get down on paper before they fly out of my head like a flock of wheeling starlings and are gone forever… so I will try: Obedience…. Oh, this word! How I railed and fought against it for so long. Submit? NEVER. Not me. I was strong, proud, independent, intelligent, and unrepentant. I would NOT submit or back down, ever. And yet… perhaps, through a tiny crack in my strong façade, crept doubt that, well, maybe MY way of doing whatever it was… might not be the best way, the easiest way, or the “right” way….  Oh, who cares about being right? I am a seeker, a researcher… I have always looked for answers, for information, for knowledge and deeper understanding… I have not ever been content to rest on what I know now, but rather to explore and search and question… yes, question everything, including myself. And when I do, I discover that I know such an infinitesimal drop of nothing in the huge pool o...
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Rebirth- A Poem

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Of all the hurts I inflicted the worst was my permission to take myself places where my soul screamed I went willingly, mutely stomach crawling, trembling remembered shame and rage now seen as the truth mistaken for thrill young and yearning I gave parts of me away more and more were taken till all that was showing was the spark of my heart winking feebly dimly glowing, almost ashes Your breath softly fanned it cupped it gently coaxed it to life sheltered from the storms first a tiny flame a small fire grew sputtering, strengthening now crackling forth to sustain me and warm the one who rebirthed the fire in me
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My father is patient, my father is kind... He is not jealous, he is not pompous, he is not inflated, he is not rude, he does not seek his own interests, he is not quick-tempered, he does not brood over injury, he does not rejoice over wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. He bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. My father never fails. (1) My father was impatient, harsh, self-seeking, boastful, crude, raging, moody, cruel, quirky, humorous, and given to leering and off-color remarks. He despaired of life, of me, and of himself. Most of the time, he was absent, either on the road driving a truck, off working a hitch in a railroad camp somewhere, or holed up in his room, which was a relief. When I compare my Heavenly Father with my earthly parent, of course Dad comes up lacking, as we all would. Dad was a supremely flawed human being, and naturally, in comparison to God, all of us just look like tiny-minded cretins, idi...
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